I don’t fit in easily. I don’t play well with others very often. I don’t accept superficialities as answers or reasons for questions or issues demanding deeper, thoughtful analysis. And when I speak or write I never take the rote or easy way out when expressing myself.

All which lead to the riddle of how and why as such a delightful guy I’ve been such a gullible fucking sucker of late…one would think I’d be less susceptible to being taken for a fool.

Maybe I’m experiencing yet another bout of insanity, at least per Einstein’s “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result”. Yeah, that’s gotta be the reason I’m in that same position hanging on to a window ledge while having my hands stomped on once again. But what put me there????

A cavalcade of sheer fucking nonsense…(and the truth)

“It’s different this time”….Why the fuck would you believe that?

“I’ll be able to deal with it”…..No you won’t, you didn’t before and you have less tolerance now

“I’ve changed”……No you haven’t and neither have they…they’ve actually gotten worse

“FOMO”……What the fuck were you really missing, you asshole?

“Hearing what I want to hear”…..Sheer fucking exhaustion coupled with looming anxiety

“It’s all in your head”….Your head has not been a good place to be lately so no shit

“It’s only for the short-term”…Define “short-term”…you’re on the clock buddy

“You need to keep it in context”…..Fuck context, there is no context just the totality of reality

“Take it for what it’s worth”…..Wasn’t worth much before so maybe even less than zero now?

Just the tip of the iceberg but that paints the picture. Now I’ve gotta grab the ankles of the fuckers stomping, hold on for dear life and do something/anything.

I ain’t planning on going down but if I do that fucking Einstein guy is coming with me.